To Vera, with love....

Vera,
I knew the first time I met you that you were a very special woman
Some may look at you and say you are unworthy, but I couldn't
It was something in your eyes that spoke to me that day
When I met you at the hospital and with your newborn walked away
The cry that erupted from so deep within your heart;
a wounded mother only wanting a new start
My heart ached for you that October night...

My throat tightened up when I returned home with this newborn and looked at my son Ayden as he tried to figure out what was happening.

I handed him this beautiful bundle and with my throat so choked with tears, I could barely say to him... "This is your sister Ayden. This is your biological sister."

It wasn't until I developed the pictures a couple of days later that I saw the huge alligator tear on his cheek. Finally, he was with his own. His own flesh and blood. Something that had been ripped away from him too many times in his short life.

First, at the age of six, he was taken from you, the mother that he loved so dearly. And then again when, at age nine, he was sent packing from his original foster home where his three younger siblings remained...never to be seen again because of a small minded woman who felt the children "need to move on".

To be so alone at such a young age. Sure, he was now adopted and had a new mom who loved him with all of her heart and soul, as well as new brothers and sisters. But that can't replace the emptiness that life dealt him. There would forever be that gaping wound.

As time went on and I got to know you better, you proved me right...you are an amazing, strong, and determned woman. Prior to meeting you, I would often look at Ayden, and think "Something good came from his earlier years. No matter what happened, there WAS something good". Well, now I know. It was you. Your heart is so big, your kindness immense, your goodness so pure.

You are so strong and have such perseverance. You fought to overcome so much that would have just drowned so many others. You worked on your sobriety, you worked to get your baby back, you battled breast cancer, and worked on your new relationship with your son...all at the same time! You are an inspiration.

Ayden has been the light of my life for so long; my "sanity" in the storm of craziness that sometimes surrounds me; my unique child that I totally admire for being himself regardless of what everyone else thinks. I love that boy. But Vera, I didn't realize this in the beginning, but time can be a teacher. I truly believe Ayden came into my life to be loved forever, but protected until he could come back into your arms.

So Vera, with love...I give you our son, Ayden