The Boys of Fall is a recent huge hit song for singer/songwriter Kenny Chesney. Inspired by his own personal love of high school football, this country boy sings about the strong camaraderie of a high school football team, the support of the small town, of getting to wear the game day jerseys down the hall - kings of the school...the boys of fall.
I don't know if I have ever had a song effect me so deeply. You see, the first time I heard this song was just a day after I sat through my first player/parent high school football meeting. The meeting, in itself, was very emotional for me. I caught my eyes welling up with tears on three different occasions as I listened to the coach speak to, encourage, and inspire not only the players but the parents as well. But why was I pretty sure that I was the only one that kept wiping away tears? I knew exactly why. When I looked to my left, I saw my son. My son, who a year ago I never would have dreamed would be sitting beside me at a meeting like this. A year ago, this young man was so troubled that I wasn't sure what the future held. He was a very violent and aggressive teenager; a deep scowl perpetually adorning his face. A "tough" look. That is what he was going for. In one school year, he was suspended a total of 23 days for his behaviors; he was in a partial psychiatric hospitalization program for nearly six weeks; his psychiatrist of three years was so deeply concerned that he told me I needed to dissolve his adoption and put him back into foster care. He threatened to kill several different people, and the weapons found hidden in his room only confirmed his intent to follow through with those threats. And, I was one of those with whom he intended to exercise his wrath. Trust me, my bedroom door was locked every night when I went to bed!
During his partial hospitalization, it was determined that his ADHD medication that had helped him for several years had started causing him to become agitated and aggressive. He was promptly taken off of that medication and you could almost immediately see a change.
At the beginning of his eighth grade school year, he was removed from the public school and placed in a behavior disorder school that was better equipped to deal with his behavioral issues. He was doing a lot better, but he still had his moments, yet fewer and further between. However, taking him off the that medication did not totally alleviate the problem. The other part was the environment in which we lived. You see, almost all of my children have suffered at the hands of others in their young lives. They all have developed certain defense mechanisms and survival tactics; they develop various coping skills, none exactly the same. Now, throw in an environment where there is constant talk of fights and getting "jumped", drugs, and weapons. His survival tactics became acting tough, talking big, acting out at school, and threatening to kill. I couldn't stand to see what my son was becomng. It was tearing me apart. I had to do something drastic or I was going to lose my son - either at the hands of another person or the hands of the law. We needed a change, and we needed it soon!
I did the only thing I could and that was to take my children out of that environment, so we moved 50 miles away into the countryside of a very small community. Of course, the move didn't come without some skepticism on his part. Move to the country, away from civilization? How would he survive? How? But, the peacefulness of the wide open space quickly began to have an effect on him, as did the small, quiet town, it's people, and the school devoid of acts of violence. It was a total culture shock for him, but one that was obviously welcomed. This was evidence by the wide grin that replaced the trademark scowl.
He was reintegrated back into the public school system at the beginning of this, his freshman year of high school. He was a nervous wreck, as most high school freshman are, entering this new era in his life. Three weeks before the new school year began, football practice started. The team welcomed him with open arms. They look out for him; gave him rides to practice in the early morning hours and then back home when every bone in his body ached; invited him to parties, hung out together and have simply made him feel a part of the team, the school, and the community.
I am proud to say that he has given up the tough guy image, the talk, and the behavior, and in turn, he has put on his helmet, cleats, and shoulder pads; worn his game day jersey down the hall, the king of school...he is now one of the Boys of Fall.
